Grief is the natural pain one experiences upon the death of a loved one. It is not an invisible virus floating on puffs of air. It is not transmitted through droplet spray nor by touching contaminated surfaces. Grief is brought on when one is robbed permanently of the physical presence of a human being who has significantly participated in his/her life and who has deeply touched his/her soul.
Death is not the ultimate adversity. It takes from us of that which we desire most, the physical presence of our loved one; a person upon whom we rely, and someone with whom our life is intertwined.
The pain inflicted upon us at the death of this significant person is natural, excruciating (in some cases debilitating), and very real.
Upon significant loss, what does one draw upon for strength and recovery?
Some may turn to their primary care physician for medical assistance. This seems logical, however, grief is not a medical condition. This enormous fact thereby renders a physician of medical arts largely ineffective. A medical doctor will, in most circumstances, prescribe medicine to act upon his patient’s ailments. Medicine acts upon physiological ailments. Grief may cause physiological ailments, however, grief is the underlying cause, not the ailment itself. Therefore, medicine may act upon the ailments brought on by grief, however, the underlying cause of the ailments remains. If the underlying cause, grief, remains unresolved, the survivor will again realize recurring physiological ailments.
Some survivors may turn to a mental health practitioner. “An estimated twenty percent of survivors receiving mental health treatment suffer undiagnosed complicated grief. Research proves that treatment for depression is far less effective for grief recovery than grief therapy.” (Coping with Adult Grief, QCFH)
Normal grief brings on natural pain. “Sadness is the most common feeling experienced during grief.” (Mourning Light I, 2016) Sadness is not depression.