My last entry entitled, “A Bad Copy” chronicles my attempt to explain the phenomenon known as baby daddies. I was not surprised when a number of individuals expressed their anger and pure hostility towards the content in the article. Let me remind you, I speak in general terms, and in no way am I addressing circumstances surrounding a particular individual’s life. How would I know? One thing can be said, “The truth hurts!”
Most of the brothers I heard from spoke of an angry and even hostile mother of their children, AKA “baby mamas.” Overwhelmingly, I heard from men that suggest they want to be involved in their children’s lives, but they just can’t deal with the baby mama drama. These brothers illustrated a life full of heartache, anger, confusion and in one descriptive narrative, pure evil. The complaint is not taking care of one’s child, but having to deal with unruly mothers.
So to my brothers, dealing with baby mama drama let me suggest the following: whenever we do anything out of the order in which God intended, we are subject to chaos. For a baby boy that is born, God has a plan and a process for his life. First he becomes a son, and then he grows up to be a man. While in manhood he is to become a husband and then, and only then, a father.
I need my young brothers to understand you cannot skip the step of husband and expect the relationship to be in order. This is why your children’s mother appears to be angry. She needs a father for her children, but she also needs a man (husband) in her life. I am often complimented on the amount of time I spend with my son, however that is not enough to bring joy to my wife. It is when we spend time together as a family, and when we spend time alone that completes our relationship.
I understand you may not be in a relationship with your children’s mother, but it truly bothers her that you are romancing your new lady while she is taking care of your children. There is another problem with this kind of relationship; brothers are so quick to get territorial when another guy is hanging around your children and their mother. Remember fellas you can’t have it both ways, I would be angry too.
One final thought, you have to be man enough to take care of your children and strong enough to let somebody else take care of her. Lesson learned!
C. MeGill Brown
Your response is welcome and encouraged C. MeGill Brown firstname.lastname@example.org